I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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