wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
