How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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