Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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