If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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