I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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