i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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