The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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