like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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