Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
