I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
