I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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