just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
