listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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