Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
