how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
All I want is dick and wine.