The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
