just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Randomize
