its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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