I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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