I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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