and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
