She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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