i will never coherently bang her
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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