see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
