North Korea, Best Korea!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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