My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
