I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
In America we eat man semen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
