sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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