Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
