have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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