Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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