i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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