: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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