Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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