he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
