Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
