Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
