i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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