So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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