who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
