I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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