i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
