And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
