If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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