..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
