You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
