Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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