i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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