This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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