Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
