She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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