She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
