i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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