This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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