She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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