He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize