Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
