She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
