he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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