erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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