She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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