I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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