youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
