kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
