I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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