you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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