I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
