i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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